Re-Storing Love: Out of Sight Never Means Out of Mind

Keep getting angry, sad, or anxious in the same way—at work and in love? Try clearing out the bric-a-brac. I don’t mean the dusty old lamp foisted on you when great Auntie Alice passed away last winter; nor do I mean the plastic singing fish your mother slipped into a moving crate, years ago when you packed for college (that’s right—I know you have a singing fish). I’m talking about emotional bric-a-brac.

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What Prevents You from Growing as a Person?: My Back

I’ve noticed a rather disturbing trend these days. Even among psychologists, more and more authors in the blogosphere have begun to dabble in a form of writing that seems more like personal venting than informal professional guidance. It’s unconscionable. But don’t worry; I have some ideas about how to fix it all. You see, it all comes down to my back problems.

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An Assertiveness Cheat-Sheet

Trying to stand up for yourself? Remember your A, B, C’s. I’ve already shared my perspective on the art of saying no. It’s probably one of the most important social skills you can master. But proper assertiveness statements--part of a broader class of assertive communication techniques--tend to come in handy across situations, and along with the gentle limit-setting of a gracefully delivered no, they can help you draw clearer boundaries around your relationships. In the end, everyone benefits from this. You’ll have a much easier time maintaining your integrity, self-esteem and sometimes safety, and your friends, partners, and dates have an easier time getting to know who you really are.

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Romance on the Road: Part Two

Or Talk Free Relationship Fix 12,005: Feelings First Couples have some of their worst fights in the car—and if you’ve spent any time at all on the road (or read my previous posts), you already knew this. In Keeping Love Alive in the Passenger Seat, I explored how a simple fight can often mask deeper existential and relational anxieties. But there are other, equally powerful factors that can fuel a car fight.

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Talk-Free Relationship Fix # 400.5: Answer the Question You Wish You’d Been Asked

This is actually one of the handiest pieces of relationship advice I’ve ever come across—and it works at the earliest dating stages. Actually, the precise quote is, “Never answer the question that is asked of you. Answer the question that you wish had been asked of you.” I should add that this curious tip comes, of all places, straight from the mouth of the controversial, former Secretary of Defense, Robert Strange McNamara (yup, that’s his real middle name).

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