Not Your Average Mom recently wrote a popular post urging parents to tell her when her kids are “assholes”—especially when they’re bullies.
And I couldn’t agree more. But I’m not sure most of us have trouble doing that.
We’re pretty quick to jump on egregious behavior in our own or other’s kids—violence, disrespect, and destructiveness—as we should be. If one of my girls hurled a rock at another child’s head, I’d hear about it right away. I’m dead certain of that.
But there’s something else I want to hear from other parents, too. And I’m not quite as sure I will.
Tell me when my kids are being kind.
Tweet: #Parents Tell me when my kids are being kind. - via @DrCraigMalkin
The moments when they offer a hug to child who's sad, or reach out to a friend who seems lonely, or spontaneously apologize for being assholes (whether they use that word or not).
What we as parents often fail to do is notice when children are affectionate, selfless, warm, giving, collaborative, respectful--and draw our full attention to it.
I want to feel confident—I want to be certain, in fact— that I can count on other parents to let me know when my kids do something wonderfully touching. Don’t you?
Because that’s what helps them grow up to be kind, considerate adults: people noticing when they try, in big or small ways, to do it as kids.